not so fab

i'm having a pretty bummed out day today. i don't know if its the mixture of Alana leaving, which means ill prob be even more lonely, or if its the fact that my effing final is on the 22nd, and i just want to be done with this b.s. right now, or if i miss being at home again, or if i just hate school. after talking to one of my high school teachers on wed, i realized that i prob shouldn't be hating school as much as i do. i shouldn't be bawling all the time because i'm frustrated with what i'm learning, or that i'm not doing as well as i expect i should. she told me that uni is supposed to be the best years of my life, and that yes i will have upsetting times, but i shouldn't be upset as much as i have been this term. i can genuinely say i hate most of my courses, and have yet had a full day of lectures where i loved what i was doing (minus maybe a psyc lecture). so i've reached the point where im reconsidering fully what im doing with my life. this whole chem thing is not my cup of tea, and is something i wouldn't have realized if i had not talked to my former teacher. come on, can any of you see me being some sort of lab technician all my life, which is mainly the type of career you can fall back on with either a chem or biochem degree. i think not. i'm far too social for that sort of career path. i should be loving what i'm learning, not crying about it all the time. the passion just isn't there at all. its shitty that this all came in second year, but better late than never i guess.