latersssss '09.

wow. where the heck did this year go?! a lot of people seemed to love the last year of '0_, while others absolutely hated it. i was on the fence about the past 365 days. it had many downs, and sadly not enough ups to balance it out, but that's ok. it started pretty horribly, with the passing of my grandpa occurring not long before the start of the New Year, along with all the baggage that was attached to it. it pretty much fogged most of the first several months of '09, and affected everyone in my family in the most negative way imaginable. it continued with even more downs, more so related to boy dramz than anything else, but luckily it either got resolved or just simply forgotten about. forgetting is the new forgiving doesn't always work, but talking it out does. also, living in Van made the first half of second year UBER emo..the sudden change in atmosphere, not being used to the distance from everyone and everything, and just school not going the way i wanted it to messed me up hcore.

OF COURSE there were the ups. everything seemed to become fab during the summer, so ill just begin there! some travelling to Alaska and visiting my awesome fam in Calgary, having insurance on the '93 Corolla and taking major advantage of it, not registering in ANY courses and just taking some good 4 months to chillax, quitting my dizzzgusting retail job, spending soooo much time with the best friends, doing whatever we wanted to, eating at as manyy of the places on our "list to eat at in summer of '09," hitting up those random spots we haven't been to since the elementary school days, boy love and unlove, and getting introduced then unintroduced to many ballin cars that the guys seemed to buy yet sold within months of purchase (i miss that RX8 wayyyy too much Shanty! ={ ) after reading Sushi's blog, i didn't get to take advantage of the legalness that people seemed to enjoy, but my 19th made up for it.

i changed a lot this year. ive learned to appreciate the little things my parents do for me, and how all those little things add up to so much; that maybe i'm not meant to be in the major that i currently am in, and that there are so many more options out there for me, that i made myself blind to see; that i have friends that will always be there for me, no matter how stupid i am, how rarely i see them, and that they love me even though they know so much about me (although there aren't tons of them, those few buddies i have mean soo much to me); that boys shouldn't be my focus and that having tons of guy friends and making more of them is actually not a bad thing..man hating phase Sush? ;) ; and that no matter what i do or say or choose, my family will never turn their backs on me. i'm hoping 2010 will be the start of something amazing, a more positive year with farrr more ups than downs. lets stay in the mindset that this coming year will be just that! buhbyes 2009, HELLOOOOOO 2010!!

bumbumbum

finally gots some time for some randommm blogging. so finals are over, did crap in my courses again, but i passed em all, INCLUDING chem 203..which apparently had a major fail rate, like 40 out of the 240 of us who took that ochem course. RIDONCULOUS! this term made me realize how much i'm not into this whole chem/biochem dealio, so this break will give me time to decide/ figure out what exactly i want to do. at least its all done, i shall learn from my mistakes, and move on.

Christmas is donezo as well. this year, it just didn't feel like Christmas at all. maybe its because my finals ended so late in the month, or maybe its because no one really seemed in the holiday mode at all compared to previous years. i don't know. but i had a very good Christmas, ate tons, got to spend time with some great people, including my fam bam.

ALSO, it was nice seeing all the buddies on the 22nd, as well as on the 23rd and yesterday. i haven't had a Tim's date with them for months, so meeting up at that one Tim Hortons twice within days felt so good. (its funny how when we say "lets meet at Tim's," we ALL know which location to go to!!) Avatar was an AMAZING movie. screw those people that didn't like it..you're just weird. although we didn't get to see it in IMAX (damn tickets getting sold out even though we bought tickets HOURS before the movie started) the 3D experience was pretty good. i should have taken some headache meds, because the 3D dealio always gives me one, but it was worth it.

on a random side note, "man hating phase" is still happening. i'm pretty shocked that i'm still going. Sushi should be proud. its nice not looking at guys the same way i did, pretty much just being neutral with any guy i meet. man hating, in my perspective, isn't to hate on guys. its just a way to not think about them constantly and not being attached to one. it feels pretty good. one of the guys thinks it'll cause me to randomly meet someone, i'm in doubts of that. BUT it kinda feels weird being one of the single peeps in the group, because many people in the crew are leaving my "singles club." 3 of them so far. im pretty sure that number will be increasing. meh, its an excuse for me to focus hcore on school, fam and friends. but i'm actually loving my friends meeting people. it gives me the lame warm fuzzies and many "AWWWWW" moments!! well, there's the random vent. not juicy, not special.

its been a while..

lots to blog about, but im wayyy too busy today to do so. soooo ill leave with this Post Secret, because its one a TOTALLY agree with. oh h.s., how i miss you.

p.s. for those of you who have noticed a blog that i made called "my own" (so original eh) dont be offended if you havent been invited to read it, because i havent invited ANYONE to view it, even the -ushi to my frushi. its something for myself, just to post crap thats been going on with me. my own form of venting without caring about what anyone thinks. but yeah, no one has been invited to it, so dont get mad homies!!

wow UBC

i had a very long convo with one of my fellow chem major buddies yesterday, after getting an extreme FREAK OUT MOMENT text from her. after this, i realized that UBC and their automatic grading system can really emotionally eff up people in the middle of their exams. i got a text from her asking if i was still registered in my term 2 organic chem course. i was super confused about this, because obviously i would still be registered in a course if i had already signed up for it in the summer. but THEN i realized what she was implying..that is if i wasn't still registered for it, it would either mean: a) UBC had some errors going on with SSC, or b) i failed the first term organic chem class. i frantically went on to Student Services and found out i was still in the class. i quickly called her asking what the reason behind asking me was, and found out a few of her friends logged on to SSC, just to check their tuition payments for next term, to notice that the tuition payment decreased, their credits for next term went down, and that they weren't registered in CHEM 204. and this just isn't one or two people..the current count is 5 of her friends. WHAT THE EFF! i KNEW the course would be hard, and that if i passed it, it would not be a fab mark at all, but HOW HIGH is the fail rate for this class!? there were only 240 or so of us even registered for the class! that means that the prof was a jerk and didn't scale the exam at all (which all of us figured he would do) and that whoever failed would fail, no matter how hard the course was. i PRAY that i did pass the class, because that would be a horrible feeling. and if i did, i'm so scared to see how many people failed the class when i walk into CHEM 204 on Jan 4th. CHEM 203 (this terms ochem course) was so small that it fit into ONE class, at one time, in one small lecture hall. so it wont be hard to see who all failed and passed the class next term, because we all reached a point where we recognized most of the people in the class. but can you just imagine seeing this change on your timetable..and in the middle of finals?! not only will you be uber depressed, but how the hell can you focus on trying to study. both my friend and i didn't tell anyone else about this, only because it would be horrible if our friends found out they failed CHEM 203, especially because we all still have one more final to go. but geez, UBC, even though we cant view our grades, and you already submitted it, having an automatic system where it just removes the class from your timetable and it shows that your tuition has decreased is the MEANEST thing to do, especially when we are all extremely stressed out by finals (and super pissed that we have to wait till 6pm on the last scheduled final day for freedom of this dizzgusting term). anywho, that's my venting of the day. back to coordination chemistryyyy.

not so fab

i'm having a pretty bummed out day today. i don't know if its the mixture of Alana leaving, which means ill prob be even more lonely, or if its the fact that my effing final is on the 22nd, and i just want to be done with this b.s. right now, or if i miss being at home again, or if i just hate school. after talking to one of my high school teachers on wed, i realized that i prob shouldn't be hating school as much as i do. i shouldn't be bawling all the time because i'm frustrated with what i'm learning, or that i'm not doing as well as i expect i should. she told me that uni is supposed to be the best years of my life, and that yes i will have upsetting times, but i shouldn't be upset as much as i have been this term. i can genuinely say i hate most of my courses, and have yet had a full day of lectures where i loved what i was doing (minus maybe a psyc lecture). so i've reached the point where im reconsidering fully what im doing with my life. this whole chem thing is not my cup of tea, and is something i wouldn't have realized if i had not talked to my former teacher. come on, can any of you see me being some sort of lab technician all my life, which is mainly the type of career you can fall back on with either a chem or biochem degree. i think not. i'm far too social for that sort of career path. i should be loving what i'm learning, not crying about it all the time. the passion just isn't there at all. its shitty that this all came in second year, but better late than never i guess.

4/5

so i think my life is really lame when it comes to exams. almost everyone i know is done theirs (esp if they're from SFU because this morning is the last possible exam scheduled) while i must wait for the friggin 22nd, 3 days before Christmas (actually 2 because the exam doesn't end until 6pm), and its on the last possible day exams could be had. having to wait that long for one causes me to procrastinate even more, because i've reached the point where looking at a textbook and even thinking about studying makes me want to barf. my first midterm was on the 3rd week of school (or even the second..i cant remember) while my LAST midterm was on Nov. 19th!! so i've pretty much been studying since the beginning of the term, and had no breaks at the end like most people, because less than two weeks after my last midterm was the start of finals. GAHHHHHHHH!! i cant wait for the 22nd. time to chill it with the fam and friends and actually have a bit of a social life for a pathetic 13 days. but before that, i HAVE TO focus on this last exam. i'm sure i did pretty crappy on the four i've already had, so i have to ensure i do better on this one. 22nd..you re looking more and more beautiful to me everyyyyyyydayyyyyyy!!

sushi find

forget

there's some things you wish you knew, and others you wish you never ever found out.

prediction

publicity stunt.

douche move

didn't think he could be any worse than he was..guess he confirmed that hes more of a jerkface than anyone ever realized. oh man, any good reputations he had are going OUT the window. i surprisingly feel absolutely horribly for her. although its a "told you so" moment, its not fair to do that to her, especially at this stage. Tiger Woods of Surrey peeps!! (i love the guy friend for making random connections like that!!)

2/5 + Alana

sooo, today i had my ochem final..anal academic rapage. oh well, its done..im just hoping im just not one of the few really stupid people in that class who found it dizzzgustingly hard. sadly, im in an ochem course thats meant for chem and biochem kids = a bunch of hcore keeners. lets just hope im above average at this point in that class. effing ochem. i can't seem to retain THAT many mechanisms. now, its microbiology cramming..that beast will be on the 14th..then i gots psyc two days after..shall cram for that as well.

this post was actually meant for something else. Alana will be leaving on the 20th to go to her next COOP job, which means she wont be here for the second term. im SOO sad. no joke, im going to miss her wayyy too much. i wont have someone i can have a decent conversation with anymore, nor a fab TC buddy, and someone who shares the same love for quality, expensive food like frushi! and i think the new mate is a fobbed out asian..unless Alana and my fb creeping skills were a fail this time. GAHHHHHHH!! im bummed beyond belief. so, must enjoy the last week or so i gots with her. so lame.

fro serious?

800 views? what the eff? i reallyyy want to know who you peeps areeeee. its kinda creepy if you dont leave comments..

oh my gosh

i feel like im going to be murdered by uni. why the eff am i paying thousands of dollars to be stressed out?! this better pay off in the end. I HATE FINALS!

p.s. i think the people creeping this blog should start leaving comments. an increase of 30 views in one week?! who are youuuu??

post secret

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.

the special two

forgot how much i love her.

the hills finds

3 weeks of hell

Decemeber 9: MATH 200, 12pm - 2:30pm
Decemeber 11: CHEM 203, 12pm - 2:30pm
Decemeber 14: BIOL 200, 8:30am - 11am
December 16: PSYC 100, 8:30am - 10am
December 22: CHEM 202, 3:30pm - 6pm

then FREEEEDDDDDDDOMMMMMMM..until January 4th.