lonely

sooo, after living away from home for over a month now, i have realized that i hate being alone. i have an ochem midterm tomorrow, so i thought it would be a good idea to stay at my place until Saturday night, and come back Sunday morning. in a way it was a good idea, because i wouldn't get distracted from the chaos at home (its a good chaos, not a bad one!), but i noticed that i felt so lonely. i couldn't concentrate because i needed someone to randomly talk to every hour or so, just to "de-stress" and get my mind off of chemistry. yesterday was pretty bad, mainly because no one was home at all, so i was stuck in an empty unit trying to study. Alana is my go to girl just to vent, and to talk to, to make me feel a bit better. talking to people online, ie on msn, just doesn't feel the same as speaking to someone face to face. the crying sessions continue; they really just come out of no where. the worst is when the parents drop me back after the weekend is over, and watching them drive away. its the worst feeling. even though i get to see them every weekend, i guess i'm just so family oriented that its hard being away from them, even if it is only for 5 days. (note the water works AGAIN..fml.) its a stupid situation, and its something that i need to get control over. if i was living with a really good friend, i think it wouldn't be as bad, because, in sense, it would be like having a piece of home with me most of the time. i dont know. it's just a pretty effed up emotional deal that i still haven't gotten over. well, back to ochem..joy.