facebook findings

so lately i've been really curious to see how people i knew back in the beginning of high school, or even elementary school, look like. i've done a bit of creeping (and of course adding..i dont just creep people, i do add them!!) to see how people have changed, where they are now, etc. its funny finding the random stupid guys you used to crush back in the day, and seeing what they look like now. i added 2 of them, 1 asian guy and a brown guy. its AMAZING how different they look now..and how theyve changed in the not so super way physically!! i guess they had theyre peak back in the beginning of high school eh..crappy for them!! but its also weird seeing how so many of people just havent bothered with the whole post secondary dealio, and yet still are into the whole "party every night" thing. i wonder how long partying all the time and keeping the not so great job will last them. i don't. its just something i was thinking about. but i still lawl at the fact that i liked these guys at one point, and was so torn over the fact they probably wouldn't be interested!! BAHAHAHAHAHA! so lame, soooo lame!! (although i still do that sometimes, its not anything close to as drastic as how horrible i felt back then!!)

i attract creepers.

pretty self explanatory. one this summer, ewwwwsssss. one just a few weeks ago, who i met for a week at a leadership conference in Ottawa and NEVER talked to, lives in Newfoundland, and said if i make it out there anytime, he'll "make it worth my while." ewwwwwwwwww X 1098301923890823912038100381093. and i another just yesterday. i lost my keys for my unit, and was in freak out mode because replacing it costs $102, due to having to replace alllll locks in the unit. so i asked everyone in the room i was studying in (i was in a library) if they had seen the keys. no one had. i asked this one guy, and he saw me put them on the table when i came in, but didnt see what happened after. note: this is 15 minutes before my 23% worth midterm for chem, so being in freak out mode right before an exam and thinking about that rather than the millions of ligands and point groups i had to memorize was NOT a good thing. i give this guy my number, and tell him to call me if he sees anything. he was SUPER nice, because he really went out of his way to help me. i go back to the library today and someone turned it in!! i text this guy the SUPA news. his reponse: Thats too bad. I was hoping I'd see you again. seriously?! really? after this news, you respond in a creepy way like that..lames. then i thought about the fact that maybe he schemed this just so that he'd get my number! can you just imagine if that WAS his plan. WTF?! anyways, bottom line, i attract creepers, and, ironically, all of whom arent bad looking!! WEIRD!! frushi is awesome with boys..fro gets creepers, sushi gets fobbed out geeks who are clingy. fantastic combo, no? ;P

over it?

maybe. i guess i can't care about someone who doesn't seem to show the same sort of feelings back. i'm dumb. i waited too long, and i should've gotten over him right away. but i guess it's time to stop, move on, and just think of him the way he most probably thinks of me, as just a friend. boys come and go, most turn into friends, and some become distant and not as close as they once were. time to stop putting so much energy into him, time to focus on more important things, and other people. disappointing? yes. expected? in a sense. but can't do anythings about its. unless he's too busy with other things, or other people. i don't know. i guess i'll only know if things change, which, as if now, haven't. which brings me back to the statement most girls (esp the bestie and myself) think about boys..THEY'RE STUPIDDDDD!! ;)

rin on the rox = no more. ='(

so i was noticing that rin on the rox had stopped making vids, and was super disappointed after like a month of MIA-ness. then today i checked back on their youtube site, and noticed that Erin had made a cover with just herself. i checked it out and realized that she had her own site, with her own vids. again..confused!! i creeped the site, and found out that rin on the rox are no longer pursuing their music career, are going back to school, and Roxanne is pretty much not doing the music thing at all now. well, at least Erin is still making doing some covers. gosh, their voices together are amazing. its a shame that they aren't singing together anymore.

so here's site http://www.youtube.com/user/erinpaulaa. to tell you the truth, its not as super as the rin on the rox one..maybe its because its lacking the whole intro they used to have "love it, hate it, whatever, just enjoy it!!" *tear* such a disappointment.

lonely

sooo, after living away from home for over a month now, i have realized that i hate being alone. i have an ochem midterm tomorrow, so i thought it would be a good idea to stay at my place until Saturday night, and come back Sunday morning. in a way it was a good idea, because i wouldn't get distracted from the chaos at home (its a good chaos, not a bad one!), but i noticed that i felt so lonely. i couldn't concentrate because i needed someone to randomly talk to every hour or so, just to "de-stress" and get my mind off of chemistry. yesterday was pretty bad, mainly because no one was home at all, so i was stuck in an empty unit trying to study. Alana is my go to girl just to vent, and to talk to, to make me feel a bit better. talking to people online, ie on msn, just doesn't feel the same as speaking to someone face to face. the crying sessions continue; they really just come out of no where. the worst is when the parents drop me back after the weekend is over, and watching them drive away. its the worst feeling. even though i get to see them every weekend, i guess i'm just so family oriented that its hard being away from them, even if it is only for 5 days. (note the water works AGAIN..fml.) its a stupid situation, and its something that i need to get control over. if i was living with a really good friend, i think it wouldn't be as bad, because, in sense, it would be like having a piece of home with me most of the time. i dont know. it's just a pretty effed up emotional deal that i still haven't gotten over. well, back to ochem..joy.

iClean

damn! after reading my last post, that was some fucked up emotional times! fo serious though, i reached a point where i just felt like giving up, and saying eff school, ima be uneducated and work at CT all my life (well, not as drastic, but something close to that!! =P) i'm still in the same boat with the whole not sure what i'm doing with my life, but ill prob stick to science, only because i don't mind it.

anywho, its midterm time, clearly, and i have another "i noticed" bit. last year around finals time, i drank a lot of water. i still do, but not as much as i did last year. BUT i've noticed that i clean a lot. since i'm not at home with a TV accessible 24/7, i'm desperate to find something to occupy my boredom, when my mind is not into the studying dealio. so i find something to clean. i clean my room, find things that bug my on my desk that needs to be organized, or actually go into the unit and do cleaning. it wastes a good 30minutes sometimes which isn't a good thing for me (it is for the unit though!!), but it just makes me feel as though i accomplished something useful with my time (but obviously not something that's benefiting ME academically!!). well, that was my random..now back to math, the only class i genuinely hate.

the worst of me taking over

NOTE: you are about to read an emo note..stop now if you would rather not bring yourself down from my lameness.

this weekend was emotionally effd up. i loved the first half of it, but it progressively got worse and worse. friday was awesome, got to catch up with the MIA bestie, and spend a few bucks on something other than textbooks, tuition and rent. i love Forever 21..but not the massive lineups and those skanky, snobish chicks that want to shop there!! saturday was also great, filled with spending time with tons of family in celebration of Eid (although it was like 3 weeks ago!) buttt all of this time spent doing stuff meant time away from studying, which is stressing me out hcore at this point because midterms are coming up and i touched NOTHING this weekend. i meant to do sooo much catching up, but due to fatigue from the 3am bedtime on saturday (actually it was technically sunday morning) and thinking wayy too much about the fact that i literally have no clue what to do with my life just fucked me up. as usual, school and planning for my future has screwed me over again (note the water works occuring right now..which seems to be a trend for the past couple days literally every few hours..or when i start thinking!) i think the whole "career planning" dealio really messes me up because there's wayy too much pressure on me. my dad is expecting a lot from me, and really wants me to be a success story, and seems to really want me to be a future dentist. being one of the few kids in my family going to university (we're a very small minority), the whole fam expects a lot as well, and i absolutely hate it. i dont even know if i want to be in science, i dont know what major i want, i just dont know anymore. im not sure this is initated by being super stressed from school, and hating the fact that university is nothing like high school, where i could do really well, and put little to no effort into it. and sometimes it seems the infinite number of hours i put into studying is just not worth it, after recieving shitty marks on exams. im in second year, and anyone who i talk to who's part of the fam is shocked when they here that i really dont even know what im doing in uni, which makes me feel even worse. im glad my mum understands where im coming from, which brings a bit of positivity to my life. but i really dont know. its a horrible thought to have in my head, especially during this time of year, when midterms are coming. fuck. i need to figure shit out.

Ike's

sooooo, i've been at UBC for over a year, and still haven't experienced Ike's Cafe. and, because i seem to be a little less stressed out right now (although i really should be in the freak out stage at this point) and i never experience 99 Chairs before it closed down this summer, i decided to spend a bit of time hitting it up and ordering something. i've heard mixed reviews about the place, but more so bad ones from people who aren't foodies at all, and super ones from the food lovers i know. so i spent the $3.41 and ordered a Chai Latte. i'm not sure if it's because i've been deprived of my super brown tea for the past few weeks, but it was soooooo good!! in Hindi, we call it Masala Chai. it's not the typical flavour you get at Starbucks, where its basically like slightly spiced hot milk..this stuff is like the Chai my mum makes when she really needs to get warmed up. i'm not the brownest of people, but when it comes to my food, it HAS to be done a certain way! my fav Chai is the type that even when its cool, it still warms your mouth. i love the super peppery tea that has tons of cardamom and those random spices that i can only say in Hindi because i have no clue what the English names for them are!! but it really did the trick. not as good as the stuff back home, but still more than sufficient for my needs!! nomnomnom!! at this point, i give Ike's a thumbs up (unless its just the barista who's super awesome at her job!!), especially for a small UBC run cafe!!

p.s. http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/2009/10/little-chefs.html

check it out if you need some MAJOR cuteness in your life. it totally made me want to hit up the kitchen and make a mean batch of double chocolate chip cookies!!!

confronting a man whore

sly words can't fool me no more.

the first of October

9pm arrival turned into 10pm arrival, after quiet hours, 4 boys then the best lady, checking out the AWESOME and new ballin' car, bad directions resulting in her getting lost, uber fab flailing and jumping hello, awkward greeting to the "late night study schedule boys," chillin' it in the super small living room, brotherly "love," AWESOME long ass giggles and major LMFAO's, intense conversations, thinking about the past, how everything's changed, and how we never expected to be where we are now, scurrrrryyyyyy hail, more laughs and stupid moments, "Dad's" Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies, remincising about the random (and somewhat dramz filled) events summer '09 brought, people who have come and gone, and who we refuse to ever allow back, realization that its after 12:30 and everyone has classes tomorrow (some much earlier than others), the somewhat sad goodbye and loving hugs only the besties can give, 10 more minutes of conversing because i dont want them to leave, everyone hoping that the next get together wont be months from now, the final goodbye.

those are the few i actually love, because without em, my life wouldn't be complete.

shoulda

dont regret one at all, but should've taken that chance on the other. maybe it was supposed to work out that way. or maybe its an experience to learn from in the future. (im betting on the latter).